Bloodstained Serenity
by dragonwriter24cmf
Summary: Keiki is recovering from the Wa Rebellion. He and Youko talk about how her actions affected him.


Bloodstained Serenity

**Summary:** Keiki is recovering from the battlefield. He and Youko talk about her actions, and his feelings about them. 12 kingdoms fanfic.

Near silent footsteps and the soft sound of his outer door opening woke him. Keiki shifted in his bed, then relaxed as he identified who had come into his chambers. There was only one person in the world who could put his shirei so at ease that none of them surfaced at the intrusion. Indeed, there was only one person whose mere presence could fill him with such contentment.

Seconds later, there was a quiet knock on his bedroom door. "Keiki?"

He pushed himself upright, then arranged the sheets over his lower body as best he could. It felt odd, to be so disheveled and undressed in his master's presence, but Youko had ordered him to stay in bed and rest until he was well. He smoothed the sheets one last time, then responded. "Majesty."

The door clicked open and the Queen of Kei, known to her friends as Youko, let herself into his room, smiling at the sight of him sitting upright. "You look better."

"Yes." He felt better as well. He still felt somewhat weak, but the violent illness that had descended on him after leaving the battlefield in Wa province was fading. He no longer felt so dizzy, and he'd been able to eat the light breakfast of fruit that his servants had provided for him that morning. It would be another day or so before he was fully recovered, but the blood sickness was leaving him.

Even from the doorway, he could smell the flower and herbal scents wafting from her, and recognized the fragrant bath soaps her handmaidens frequently provided her. Obviously, she'd made an effort to cleanse herself of any lingering taint of blood, to avoid causing him further discomfort.

Youko strode into the room, then stopped a few feet away. "Is it all right?"

"Yes." He'd warned her that the scent of blood sometimes lingered, but there was no hint of it now.

Youko smiled, then stepped forward until she could settle into a chair at his bedside. "I'm glad you're recovering well."

He had to agree. After all, he'd needed two or three days to recover from the blood sickness after carrying the child Keikei into the Palace. Usually battlefields were much worse. "Indeed. I will be able to join you for the morning conference tomorrow." He might feel a little weak, but he was certain he'd be able to make it that far.

Youko's smile gentled, as if she knew exactly what he was thinking. "It's fine if you're all right, but you don't need to push yourself if you still feel unwell. With as many capable advisers and friends as I've got around me now, I'm certain I'll be okay if you need to rest for another day or two."

"That may be true. However, my place is at your side, Majesty." That was true. It was equally true that, even when he was caught in the throes of blood sickness, her absence was an ache in his spirit.

Youko shook her head. "Well, I won't force the issue one way or the other." She sighed and looked down, her hands fidgeting restlessly in her lap.

Keiki studied his young queen. She had relaxed a great deal since her return from the provinces, particularly around him, but she seemed ill at ease now. He cleared his throat. "Majesty...was there something you wished to discuss with me?"

A faintly melancholy, and slightly self-deprecating smile creased her mouth. Then the expression vanished as she stilled her hands. "Yes. I wished to apologize to you."

He blinked, startled by the statement. "Apologize?"

She nodded, her eyes downcast. "Yes. For calling you to that battlefield. For asking you to carry me, even though I just come from battle, and had not even changed to cleaner armor. I know how blood effects you, and even so, I made such a demand of you. I caused you to suffer, and at my hands." Her intertwined fingers clenched suddenly. "Even now, you have not fully recovered from the ordeal my commands forced you to endure. And for that, I apologize."

"There is no need." The words escaped him without thought, but he knew they were correct.

He had suffered from the battlefield, but it was hardly the worst he had ever endured. Youko, in her armor, had still been less bloodstained than the child he had willingly borne upon his back, only a few days before that. The battlefield had certainly sickened him, but it was far less terrible than the horrors he had been forced to endure while shackled to Joyei's side. And for all the turmoil he had faced at his new queen's side, nothing yet compared to when he had suffered the shitsudo at the end of his previous queen's rule. _That_ had been pure torture, the agony of his body combined with the torment of his knowledge of how badly he had failed his ruler, and even worse when the bond they shared had been broken. Nothing Youko had done or asked of him had been comparable to that.

Besides... "You did only what was needed, Majesty. The fact that you summoned me prevented much greater bloodshed." That truth had been the reason he had carried her, the reason he had forced himself to fly strong, to hold himself upright until he returned to his chambers in the Palace.

"Yes." Her voice was soft, contemplative. "Enho taught me that a ruler must be able and willing to make sacrifices, to do what is needed for the people and the kingdom. But he also taught me that a good ruler should always be aware of those who are affected by such actions. If a ruler must be prepared to sacrifice something or someone, they should also be prepared to accept the consequences, to make amends and apologies to those who are negatively affected by those actions. At the very least, they should remember and acknowledge such people, and their responsibility to them, even if no amends or apologies are possible."

"That is true." It heartened him to see she had learned so well. That had been his hope, when he had sent her to Enho, that she would learn the wisdom a good ruler should have. He could not teach her about sacrifice and necessity. Mechanics of ruling were one thing, but this was something she had desperately needed, and something that he wasn't the best suited to provide. "You have learned much."

Another of those sad smiles crossed her face. "I'd like to think so. But still...I do seem to put you in some very bad situations."

Keiki paused, thinking. He wanted to reassure his Queen. He rarely did, and knew he scolded more than he praised, but still...she had done well. More than that, he did not like to see her distressed for his sake. Nor had he any regrets or unhappiness over what had happened. "Majesty..." He hesitated, uncertain of how to say what he wanted to say.

He recalled carrying Keikei to the Palace. He had done it of his own volition, knowing he would suffer, and have to endure the consequences. He had felt the same way when he had stood on the wall-top and agreed to bear her to the waiting army, over the bare ground that had so recently been a killing field.

In contrast, he could remember when Hankyo had been injured, just after they'd returned from Hourai. The blood that had rained upon him then had caused him to fall almost immediately, easy prey for the binding spell Kourin had laid upon him. Likewise, being on the field of contention with the false queen, Joyei, had been unbearable. He had only barely recovered when his queen had come for him, and had stayed in his kirin form partly because he didn't want her to know how weak he was. That, and he really couldn't endure the thought of standing naked before her, much less in front of witnesses.

During the battle for the throne, he had avoided her, for many of the same reasons. But it was different now, and he wanted to explain the difference to her, to help her understand that she didn't need to be so distraught over his condition.

Youko was watching him, waiting for him to speak. He frowned thoughtfully, then began to speak, stumbling as he tried to put words to a concept that didn't actually involve conscious thought on his part. "Kirin can sense certain things. When blood is spilled, it brings...pain. Malice. Distress. Despair. Sorrow. These things...weigh down a kirin's spirit."

Youko blinked. "That's right. When I got blood on me from the carriage accident, you mentioned that. That you could feel no malice, but I should be careful." She paused, considering something. "If a person were to be steeped in those feelings, if a person were to be entirely possessed by such emotions...would a kirin feel that they smelled of blood?"

"Yes. It is possible a person like that could seem to smell of blood, even if they were not actually stained with it." He'd seen it happen, though it was rare that such a person hadn't spilled blood in truth.

"That explains something that puzzled me for a while. When I first met Enki in Hourai, he said I smelled of blood. I didn't understand what he meant by that. But back then, I was confused and frightened, and full of unhappiness and negative feelings."

"Yes." He'd felt the same aura from her. But there had been no way he could resist the pull to his Queen. "However..." He hesitated, unsure of how to speak the words, then spoke softly. "When you wield your sword now...these are not the feelings that you have. When you are on the battlefield, it is not because you are angry and wish to strike down your enemies. Nor is it because you feel despair...or at least, that is not how it feels."

"No. When I was roaming Kou, I would get angry at the Youma attacking me, and I would strike them down. But...the face I saw in the water mirror, in the sword...I didn't like it. Now, I just wish to protect people. I want to make them safe and happy, so fewer people will spill blood in the future. Rather than wanting to strike down those who oppose me, I simply want to remove those things that destroy people's happiness, that cause others to live in fear or sorrow."

"I know." He looked away. "There, on the battlefield...you were carrying the hope of your people. Those who fought for you were fighting for the same things you were. Not malice, but justice. Not despair, but hope."

"Hmmm...that might be true, but doesn't blood spilled still cause you pain? After all, even if the ones who spill blood do so with no malice in their hearts, they will bear even more sorrow. At least, I know I feel this way." Youko drew one foot up onto the chair and wrapped her arms over her knee, adopting the pose she usually used when thinking.

"This is true. However...compassion is...not something that troubles a kirin. A heart that grieves for those it harms is not so painful." He remembered Keikei again. He had felt the boy's pain and fear, his attacker's despair, but wrapped over all that had been his queen's gentle care, her concern for the child. Compassion. That too had been why he hadn't reacted to the blood she'd been stained with in the accident. The smell still set him off, but it was not as horrible.

"Even if it is for hope and justice, even if it is for peace, and the one who spills blood feels compassion, wouldn't there be negative feelings? For those who have their blood spilled, their dreams and ambitions thwarted? Isn't there fear and pain, for those who have been hurt?" She sounded confused.

"Yes. That is always true." He turned back to face her a moment, then looked down at his hands. "And a kirin will always be aware of these things. However..." He stopped. He simply didn't know how to put it in a way that made sense. All he understood was the truth of the situation.

"A poison in half doses is less dangerous? Or...is it...that a poison mixed with an antidote is less painful to drink? Is that what you are trying to say to me?" Her voice sounded as uncertain as he felt.

"It is something like that." The explanation was the closest he could conceive of.

There was a rustle of movement, then a smaller, sun-browned hand came to rest on top of his. He looked up, startled. "Majesty..."

A sad smile touched her lips, and he felt the gentle sorrow resonating through it in her touch, in the bond that connected them. "I still don't like what I have done to you. But...it eases my heart to know that there is a way, however small, that I might have been able to ease the pain you suffered on my behalf." Her hand clenched lightly over his. "I hope I will someday be the kind of Queen that never has to expose you to such things. But until then...at least I can promise that I will try my hardest to always approach battle with the right spirit, and I will do all that I can, to spare you."

"My thanks." Hesitantly, he shifted one hand out from under hers, to lay it across her fingers. "As long as that is how you feel...I will endure even a battlefield for you. And I will continue to carry the wounded for you."

"That's right. Hyouki told me that you carried Keikei into the Palace. I should thank you for that. Without that, he might not have survived. I know Enho appreciates it as well." She knelt beside him. "You did very well saving him. I am grateful you took such measures."

"It was necessary." He felt oddly embarrassed by her praise. Even more so that she was kneeling on the floor of his bedroom. "Majesty..."

"It's all right." A slight sparkle of mischief entered her eyes. "Even I can tell you're uncomfortable." She squeezed his hand lightly once more, then gently drew her hands away and resumed her seat.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. Then Youko spoke softly. "You said you would be well enough to attend the morning conference with me but...will you truly be healed by then?"

"I will be well enough."

"That isn't what I asked you." There was something solemn in the tone of her voice that made him look up at her. "How long until you are completely recovered?"

"Perhaps...three days." He felt his hands clench in his sheets. It felt wrong, to have to admit such things to his Queen.

"Three days, huh? Well, I guess that's enough time." She rose from her seat. "Keiki. I want you to stay here and rest for the next three days, until you have completely recovered."

He stiffened. "Majesty..."

Her warm smile took him off guard. "It's just...I haven't called a morning conference since we returned. I wanted to wait until you were completely healed."

"You don't need to..." She shook her head, silencing him.

"I know that. It's just...I have some changes I need to make. And everyone has been waiting for my First Official Proclamation, right? I have an idea of what I want it to be, so...I plan to make my declaration there. And a Queen making her first Imperial Proclamation should have her kirin by her side."

"Yes. But I..."

"It's fine. If I wait, I'll have time to send messages to the king of En, and to Rakushun, to tell them what I decided. I'd like to know what they think of my decision. And well..." She flushed, looking away from him. "I suspect this might startle you too, so I'd prefer that you be in your best health when I deliver it. After all, it would surely be seen as a bad omen if my kirin were to faint!"

She was teasing him. The knowledge made him happy, and made him uncomfortable all at the same time. More than that..."Majesty, what do you have planned?"

"Hmmm...well, I was talking to Shoukei, and Suzu, and the others, about what would make an ideal kingdom. And I have a few ideas of my own. So...this is something that I think will lead to a better place for all my subjects. Other than that..." she smiled again at him. "You'll see at the conference in three days."

He knew by the expression on her face that he wasn't going to get any more from her on that subject. "Very well."

Her head tilted, looking out the windows of his room. "Enho is probably waiting for me. And I need to discuss this with him too, I think. So I'll leave you now." She stepped forward and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Get plenty of rest, okay? I'll come back and check on you this evening."

"I will rest, Majesty." Her hand left a warm spot on his shoulder as she turned away. She was almost to the door before he spoke again. "Thank you."

"Hmmm...that's my line, I think. But you're welcome." With that, she left.

Keiki sighed, then settled back into a resting position. He was hardly tired, but she had ordered him to rest. "Hankyo."

"Taiho." The shirei appeared from the floor.

There was a faint scent of blood on the shirei, but it didn't bother him at all, oddly enough. Not with the lingering warmth of his master nearby. He sighed and closed his eyes. "Watch her."

"Of course." The shirei disappeared once more.

Keiki relaxed against the pillows, allowing his mind to relax as well. Instinctively, his thoughts went to the bond he shared with his Queen. So close, he could feel her presence, her wild strength, her courage and compassion.

Red Child. He knew they called her that. Sekishi. Red Child. He'd heard the rumors. Sekishi, for the color of her hair and the color of the blood spilled as she claimed her legacy. Odd how that aspect of her name had never bothered him.

Sekishi. Youko. His Queen, for whom he could endure even blood. His meikun, who could bring his soul peace even in the darkest hours.

"Majesty..." He exhaled the word and fell back into slumber, soothed by the presence of his other half. His Queen.

His Red Child.

**_Author's Note: _**_Just a drabble that occurred to me. I was re-watching the series, and this little plot bunny just wouldn't go away..._


End file.
